All's fair in love and rockets.

This dream seemed to have no beginning and no real end. It was like showing up in the middle of a movie where you were one of the central characters.

Immediately it was clear to me that some political faction had taken over the city. In the process of cleansing it of its inhabitants they had left it in a rubble. A small group of us were moving through the city using burned out buildings as cover from the barrage of rockets and motors that exploded around us. My problem was that I had no idea where our enemies were but I just followed along with everyone else. I was confused but no one would give me any information. As I moved along to the front lines I realized who our leader was, Tracy Morgan. Any hope I had of surviving this was dead. Just as this thought entered my mind a rocket was launched from a nearby window blowing Tracy up in slow motion. I wiped the guts from eyes and took over as leader the group...

Charlotte and I ride a bike.

I probably won't have time to sketch out each dream but last night's deserved a visual simply because it was so funny. I can't recall many details from the dream except that I was stuck at Liberty Bell Bike Shop (my cousin used to own it) on Frankford Avenue due to a torrential downpour. At some point I decided that I couldn't wait any longer so I hopped on my bike to ride home. Midway through the ride I realized that my dog Charlotte was hitching a ride and holding onto my waist like only a human passenger would on a motorcycle. It really made me laugh. As I drove down Frankford Avenue the traffic worsened and became eight lanes wide with cars everywhere, much like you would see on a crowded street in Rome. Charlotte and I drove in between the cars toward the front but it was making everyone very mad. They started honking and yelling insults at us. I woke up after that.

Clash with Clash.

Dream: Virginia and I went to a department store to meet Kevin Clash and Elmo. We were the only ones there so he was happy to talk with us and perform with Elmo which was awesome. I pointed out that Elmo looked brown and he said it was the bad lighting in the store. Eventually Kevin asked me what I did for a living. After I told him he asked if I could send him a sample of my work- that he was alw

ays looking for illustrators. I immediately reached in my back pocket and gave him an envelope. Inside was a card with a note written to someone else entirely and thirty dollars cash. He looked at me puzzled. "Listen," he said, "I don't take bribes. If I like your work I'll call you."
I tried to explain to him that it was a mistake- that I meant to give him a thank you note for his years of being Elmo. He scoffed at this. I scrambled through the department store to find the thank you card. I couldn't imagine where it had gone. Suddenly giant metal doors locked us all inside. We tried to find a way out but eventually we just gave up and waited.
That morning the doors opened and Kevin invited us to his house for breakfast. We followed on foot. It was an old house that resembled a castle more than anything. In order to get in we had to hang from a ledge and shimmy over to an open window. Kevin wanted me to go in first but I something seemed fishy to me. He became visibly angry with me and told me if I didn't go in first I could forget going in at all. I realized at this point that he was really just trying to get me to break in. This wasn't his home. I woke up at some point after this.

Strange Neighbors.

Dream: Daisy and I bought this beautiful home in a quaint all American town. While we were moving in we noticed that some of the neighbors had come by to say hello. The problem was they were standing on our porch roof looking in the front bedroom window. They had climbed up onto a fence and up an old pine tree to get to the second floor. It was mostly young kids but two older women climbed right through the window and immediately told us stories about the previous owners. I woke up laughing again.

BMX.

March 27, 2010 Dream: Okay, I will do my best to decipher last night's dream. It was either a very long one or a strange conglomeration of weirdness.

It started off with myself helping the parks department relocate old graves found in front of Independence Hall (a common thing to find in Old City). After a while we lost track of which tombstones accompanied the graves since all of the markings were Egyptian hieroglyph
ics. I decided that I wanted no part in this so I went back to my teaching job located across the street.

This week I happened to be teaching auto body guys how to use Photoshop to manipulate photos and make preliminary mock ups of their work for their clients to get a better idea of their vision. Unimpressed with me I decided to show them my purple and yellow '69 Chevy Impala as well as my matching coat. They all left but fellow teacher Lisa Simpson stepped into my class and started stealing all of the coats hanging from the rafters! As I was trying to convince her to exit my classroom, I opened a closet to reveal that it was crawling with hordes of boxelder bugs and dead beetles. This sent Lisa screaming out the door.

After locking up I walked to the parking garage only to realize that my car had been stripped and was unoperational. I somehow found an old bmx bike and started riding only to be "challenged" to a dangererous (yet totally radical) bike race home by a group of uniformed 80's bmx teenagers. Going against traffic we weaved in out of on coming vehicles all the while trying to knock the other off their bike. I suceeded by getting in front of the kids, skidding around and causing them to jump my now angled tire. The crash was pretty dang cool. We all laughed about it afterwards as we rode home together into the moonlight.

Nazi Frisbee.

March 28, 2010 Dream: I was staying at a small beach side ranch where they tended to small plastic red toy horses. I was asked to come outside to throw around a frisbee with a retired fully decorated Nazi General. He had this amazing frisbee that consisted of two parts. When thrown it would turn into the shape of an eagle and return to you like a boomerang.

After some practice the General handed me a different frisbee. I gladly threw it but was surprised to see that it glided for hundreds of yards then turned into a pepsi lawnchair (complete with a sail) which landed on a huge crowd of beach bathers.

Feeling bad about losing his frisbee, I took a water taxi but was disappointed to see that the frisbee had been destroyed by the angry crowd. I got back on the water taxi heading in the wrong direction. I jumped off and landed in what, at first, appeared to be blood but was nothing more than spilled cherry juice. With my bare feet stained red I started walking back to the ranch.

While walking back I had to climb through a brick wall, dodge a parking car, and was threatened by a kid on a bike with a switchblade. He asked for my wallet so I reached in my pocket and quickly took out my camera snapping a photo of him. He lunged at me but I quickly jumped on the back of a parked car and told him I was emailing myself the photo. After some chasing around the car I stole his bike and rode off back to the ranch.

I woke up feeling like I had just been run over by a freight train.

Indiana Jones and the Rude Pembertonians.

March 29, 2010 Dream:

Short summary of my dreams last night:

A. Indiana Jones and I had to fight off some Mongolian thugs to gain access to a archeological clue only to realize it was scribbled all over with permanent marker.

B. I won a restaurant tour to the seaside town of Pemberton, NJ (it is not a seaside town) where the entire town was outlined in lights. It was quite beautiful. The staff treated us like crap and we were asked to leave when we asked for another napkin. On the way out I watched a car drive into the water but was surprised to see it continue to float down stream like a boat.