Monday, December 8, 2014

Two dreams.

Last night my wife Daisy had a dream that one of my art directors dropped three Australian shepherd puppies off at her Mother's house.
I had a dream that all of my friends wore dress shirts under sweaters with the dress shirt collars sticking out. Since I didn't dress similarly no one would talk to me. Then weird zombie mutants attacked us.

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Secret fat nerd bunker.

Last night's wacky dream involved an arcade tournament that came to life and turned grossly violent, an underground secret arcade bunker hosted by Kevin Smith, a one eyed giant floating blob monster, and a room full of frightened know-it-all chubby neck beards.

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Cathedrals, temples, and a furnace.

Last night's dream was quite an adventure. I was invited to a celebration of different Christian faiths (Catholic, protestant, etc). The event took place in an enormous blue and white Cathedral on the banks of the Delaware River. Before entering I noticed that next door to the church was a nondescript Eastern reilgious and muslim temple. Outside, men, woman and children celebrated as large puppets, dressed all in black, paraded in front of the entrance. The women wore gorgeous jeweled veils and danced in the streets while clapping their tambourines. I stood and watched for a few minutes.

Inside the Cathedral were tight wood pews which were designed in a way that only allowed kneeling or sitting. The pastor thanked everyone for coming and expressed his gratitude for the contributions of 10,000 artists that donated their time to work on a painting that we were not allowed to see. I was incensed that they would do such a thing and not share it with the public. The pastor then introduced the benefactors of the painting, the "Duncan family." I remember thinking that that they looked like they were from Eastern Europe. The last man introduced was a short man who was accompanied by my friend Connie (who had bright red hair and bright blue eyes for some reason). At his introduction I overheard some men complaining about him but couldn't understand what they were saying. After the service I followed the men down an alley way to find that they were waiting to assassinate the short man. Before I could get to them several shots were fired but the short man and Connie drove safely on.

This is when the dream got really bizarre. I was suddenly the short man everyone was looking for. They chased me into an old industrial park where I successfully hid under a pile of junk in an old junkyard. Several small drones searched for me but could not pinpoint my location. Once they left I jumped down into a small room lined with cinderblock walls. A furnace lay in the middle. A young boy climbed out of the furnace covered in ash. He turned to me and said, "Here. You belong in here." Frightened, I broke open the door only to find I was in a large disheveled warehouse. I hid behind some old cardboard boxes because I heard the warehouse doors start to open. Several men entered. I could hear them speaking but, again, could not understand what they were saying. I stood up to see them but could only see their silhouettes. A gunshot filled my ear. The dream ended. I woke up covered in sweat.


I've never been to Poland but I had a very vivid dream about it. I was with my wife on a business trip. When we arrived in Poland I was completely awestruck but these gigantic beautifully ornate cathedrals that were built into the mountain sides. At every corner we turned one greeted us bathed in light from the setting sun. I couldn't keep my eyes off of them.

Fighting in Switzerland.

Wow. Bonkers dream: I was back in Basel, Switzerland. I rented a car and drove south to the alps to meet up with Marianna and Fabio. Along the way I had to fight with a hamburger shaped hotel manager, several old bartenders, a woman shooting an exercise video, and the Swiss police. Suddenly a robot voice convinced me to find a small church to hunker down for the night. Upon arrival I discovered that my friend (a pastor) was inside to perform some weird food ceremony for Connie. I was asked to walk Connie down the aisle but it all turned into another nutso fiasco when I ate the pink ice cream bananas. Oprah was furious. 
Good grief.

Top Hat.

Friday night's dream involved being angry, plumbing, buses, a hospital, child birth, a well choreographed dance number for SNL starring my friend Randi, and fighting a cop in an elevator while dressed in a gray tuxedo complete with a fancy top hat.

Dad Dream

Two nights ago I dreamt that I saw my Dad in my old neighborhood in Philadelphia. He got out of an old brown Buick and walked over to me. We sat down on Mrs. Gallen's bottom steps which is next door to the rowhome I grew up in. I don't remember what we talked about. As my Dad spoke I just stood there staring at the lawn. Mrs. Gallen has this cool low fence made out of painted silver pipes and a small rock wall where the lawn meets the sidewalk. As I looked I noticed that some roots had grown out of the wall. Attached to the roots, as if the roots had grown into it over the years, was a dirty penny. The date on the penny was 1962. I showed my Dad but he said nothing. The dream just ended.

Monday, April 7, 2014

Ladybug Putin.

Hey everyone! I had a messed up dream last night starring everyone's favorite former KGB agent, Vladimir Putin! It had me laughing when I woke up. 

I was looking for a place to change into my costume for a party I would be attending. Putin invited to use his fancy dressing room but asked if I could wear a ladybug outfit instead. After changing he them asked if I could do a synchronized dance with him to give everyone a good laugh. I though, "Sure, what the hell."

Friday, April 4, 2014

Frustrating dream.

Last nights dream had me stop by a nearly empty grocery store where, to gain entry, you had to wear a bag on your head. They were all out of bags so I had to wear a box but it was torn open a bit. I looked like the homeless phantom of the opera. 

On the way home my car's "need catalytic oil converter (I know that's made up)" light came on making the power steering on my car fail. Weeeee! Suddenly I was walking and blocks from the store. When I was half way there I realized that I never wrote down what was wrong with the car. I woke up irritable and frustrated. 

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Glacier and a ballerina

I had some crazy dreams last night.
1. I was given two weeks of solitary vacation time so I immediately packed all of my camping gear and headed for Glacier National Park. I can;t express to you how thrilled I was. I knew there would be snow but I just didn't care. The dream seemed so real that when I woke up I was heartbroken.
2. I was involved in some charade world championship and I couldn't get my teammates to guess that I was Rodin's ballerina.